My shoulders are tired, which reminded me the pressure is
building up. Before this, I thought I’m free from stress, now I knew I just
never know what stress really is.
Start from this Monday, my nice superior can’t be my protector
anymore. I’m busy with piles of works; I even have to work even though I’m on
training.
When I decided to face the music, I knew that I had to do
more work. New colleague need my guidance and help. Unfortunately, I’m impatient;
I don’t have much of time to teache her step by step. I have to do all the
thing by myself and hope she could learn from observation, I felt sorry for
her.
Every day, there is all kind of challenges waiting for me. Even
back to hostel, I still think about my next days job’s planning. Am I becoming
the workaholic? Haha …
As I recalled, during the Sabah
road show, my colleague told me that I’m a responsible person and I could
complete my task without my superior’s help. She let me knew that I could do
better and responsible than before.
Maybe I understood that I can’t rely on anybody again,
everything need to be settled by myself. Do what I can do, everything will be
fine. But, sometimes I hope I can have more hands and foots to help me finish
my jobs.
All the jobs come at once; I told myself that I must settle
it one by one. If I can’t finish my job on time, I will feel like there is a
stone pressing on my heart. Neither can I leave it, so I have to do it anyhow.
However, by forcing myself to take the responsibility, I accidently earn a lot.
Every day, I write in my
diary about what I’ve learnt; to document the difficulties a coordinator will
face, the responsibilities as a senior, and the satisfaction I gained through
solving all the problem and etc. All these make up my colorful life, although I
have to say goodbye to my boring life, I am glad.
Now I don’t think too much, not calculative, no more
complaining or considering myself as an unimportant person. All these because I
spend my time wisely on important tasks.
I push myself keep going instead of the negative thinking. When
I feel I want to give up, I will tell myself: “Don’t give up. You can do it!”
Sometimes, being busy caused me losing direction. I will
have a deep breath and stayed focus on the important matter first. I feel like
I am competing with time, and I need to take all the opportunities to ensure
that I could complete the jobs on time.
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. I need to
use it on learning and accumulate knowledge. Even next time, position can be
replaced by someone, but not my knowledge.
Actually, I’ve a lot of understanding about my life, I need
to thank him. He is an optimist. He always encourages me. When I have problem,
he will be the one who analyze the stituation. His persistent and being
responsible to his job inspired me a lot.
That’s why nobody can advise me leave the company except
him. He has analyzed the pros and cons of staying back at my position, and the
situation I may face.
He will point out my
flaws and mistakes, sometimes I feel hurt from his comments yet I knew it was
for my own good. He doesn’t want me to make mistakes which I would regret on
later.
As I said, he is the best
I ever met. Thank God for bringing him to me, he is my happiness.
Mr Foo was right, one doesn’t
need to look for answer or help from far away, you just have to look around and
surprisingly you may found your answer you want. Don’t you think so?
23/9/2011
生活，也可如此多姿多彩
疲累的肩膀，提醒著我，隱形的壓力積存在體內，不得釋放。以前，總以為自己沒壓力，後來，才知道，是不懂那叫壓力。
打從這個星期一開始，好好上司沒能再為我擋風遮雨後，我的忙碌，亦馬不停蹄大肆地展開。每天都有忙不完的工作等著我去處理，連聽課，都得邊聽邊工作。
決定留下來面對，就知道我暫時得一個人做兩個人半的工作。新人需要我帶，急性子的我，卻沒啥時間能教她，全都自己做來得快。然後，她在旁邊看著來學。這點，我對她，是充滿愧疚。
每天，都有大大小小的新挑戰等著我。就算回到宿舍了，腦子裡全都是明天該先做什麼的計劃。這算是工作狂的先兆嗎？哈哈。。
我記得，三月的沙巴展銷會，同事說我對交代的任務，都會負責到底。那次，也的確讓我知道，其實我可以做得更好，更有責任感。
或許，是了解到自己沒人可依靠了，所以什麼事都得獨自迎上前。兵來將擋，水來土掩，沒什麼好怕的。衹是，分身乏術的自己，更多時候恨不得能化身為三頭六臂的人，盡快滿足所有人交代給我的工作。
當工作紛至沓來時，我得一件一件去做好。工作無法完成時，就好像懸半空的石頭，在心裡盪著晃著，這也許就是所謂的責任感吧？我不能丟下不管，最後衹會給自己惹來整身蟻。責無旁貸的擔下來，卻帶給我很多意外的收穫。
每天，我都在日記簿裏，述說著自己又學會了什麼。做中間人的左右為難；做為帶人者的責任；成功解決問題後的甜美滿足，一點一滴豐富了生活。即使是因此而告別了無所事事的悠閒，我仍然覺得物超所值。
沒有了庸人自擾的胡思亂想，不再盡為一些小事在斤斤計較。驅走了無病呻吟的哀怨自憐，也不再覺得自己是多餘的人物。因為，我實在沒時間去埋怨。
取而代之的，是積極的加油聲，推動著我前進！做不來時，我激勵自己：“不要放棄，妳一定可以！”
忙到天旋地轉，不曉得該先處理那件事時，我會讓自己深呼吸，將精神集中在現下忙著的重要事。像是位和時間賽跑的健將，爭取每分每秒的機會，務必在限時內完成工作。
時間很珍貴，我要把它善用在有價值的學習上。將來，就算離開後，位子給人取代了，至少，我有滿腦人家帶不走的知識。
我能有今天如此多的領悟，其實，要謝謝他。他樂觀的想法、理性的分析、積極的態度、堅持到底的精神，有頭有尾的負責任和有遠見的想法，影響了我很多很多。
這也是為何那麼多人都勸不動我留下，我卻因為他的一席話，改變了自己的主意。因為，他連我現在的處境、留下來的利和將來可能面對的窘境，皆一一分析給我聽。
衹要他覺得我做錯的地方，就會指出我的矛盾。有時，忠言逆耳，難免會讓我心裏不舒服。可是，我知道，那是一劑良藥苦口的忠言，免得到時我走得太遠，回頭已是百年身。
我說過，能在人生旅途上遇見他，是我三生修來的福。謝謝老天爺留給我這位好男人，我感恩，也珍惜著。
傅興漢果然說得對，何必捨近求遠去尋找答案或幫助呢？很多東西，就在身邊，衹是自己，視而不見罷了。
